the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
