Buhtt sex?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
