I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize