Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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