oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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