Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
