Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize