are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
