his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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