Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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