you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize