Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
