So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
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well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
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Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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