all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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