The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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