I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
