it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I look better un-naked...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
