how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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