He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I deserve this hangover.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
