I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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