ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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