we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
