the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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