why didn't you poke me back
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
