so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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