walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
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I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
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I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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