I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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