ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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