Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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