Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize