he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
