that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
