i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
tell me about the fingering
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