Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
