Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
