I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
True college students do jello shots in the library
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
