Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
