Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize