I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
