What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize