remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
