You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
