i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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