just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
