even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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