If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You made out with two different species that night
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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