so that wasnt chicken after all
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
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soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
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I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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