Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
