kristin has been a bad kristin
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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