My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
