Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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