i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just made my gag reflex go away.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
