google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
