I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
