A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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