Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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