Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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