So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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