I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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