We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
