Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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